Articles by Kevin Harper

About Kevin Harper (11 Articles)

Kevin is a college dropout turned success story. With his unwavering critical eye and willingness to try new things, Kevin is the perfect product tester. Appliances big and small, Kevin Harper has tried them all! He enjoys long walks on the beach and maxing out his company credit card to get free things. In fact, he buys so many more products than he could ever hope to review that one would almost think that he is soon to be on the receiving end of some disciplinary and/or legal action from his superiors! Ha ha! We have fun here.

A Life or Death Decision About Toothpaste

April 12, 2016 // 1 Comment

It was the smell that woke me. A putrid array of filth and decay assaulted my nostrils, so rancid that it was sticky and palpable. In a flash of groggy horror, I realized what was causing such a stench: I had not brushed my teeth in days. [...]

The Best Cookware to Keep Yourself From Getting Killed

June 16, 2015 // 1 Comment

I sat at my boss' desk with my hands clasped on my lap. I would have been the picturesque image of a model employee, had the gauze wrapped around my skull not started leaking again. [...]

Grand Theft Auto 5 is So Realistic I Became Friends With It

April 23, 2015 // 1 Comment

A weird feeling of unease had started to gnaw its way into my gut. This was starting to feel a little too realistic. [...]

A Review of “The Dress”

February 27, 2015 // 0 Comments

Okay look, clearly there's some dark magic Devil shit going on here. [...]

Godiva Chocolates Gold Box: The Perfect Gift for Your Lunatic Valentine!

February 13, 2015 // 2 Comments

Sure, it was still a couple days until Valentine's Day, but I just couldn't contain myself. I wanted to see her again, even if she was a violently unstable potential murderer. [...]

Trojan Gold Collection Condoms: Ribbed for Murder!

December 31, 2014 // 13 Comments

I personally have been consistently awful at the art of the pick-up, which has not led me to become overly optimistic about my prospects. That and the fact that my last attempt at seducing a lady ended with my house nearly being burned down. [...]

Axe Gold Temptation: Irresistible to Beautiful Women and Dangerous Psychopaths

November 11, 2014 // 8 Comments

For me, the first image that Axe Body Spray evokes is the boys locker room in 8th grade. A kid named Eddie would constantly spray himself with the stuff until it gave his skin a glistening sheen. But my memory of Eddie is also accompanied by [...]

Bad Axe

October 22, 2013 // 3 Comments

Like any civilized person in 21st century America, I have no use for a fireplace. I push a button on the wall and my house gets warm. Bam, technology. No sweeping the chimney, no cleaning up ash, and certainly no splitting of firewood. Yes, I was [...]

Product: Ant Murder!

March 22, 2013 // 1 Comment

Spring is in the air! A joyous time that heralds the stirrings of warmth, the choirs of birds, and the blossoming of flowers. But as the world of beauty wrests itself from the cold grasp of winter, the skittering underbelly comes to life with it. [...]

Product: Acid For Cats!

August 21, 2012 // 1 Comment

The problem with cat treats as of late is a lack of imagination. All they consist of is just a variation of concentrated tuna or chicken flavorings. They really get old after a while, for the owner as well as the cat. So why not mix it up, you ask? [...]

Product: Mega Washer!

May 30, 2012 // 2 Comments

The Mega Washer did not catch my attention as I wandered through my local Sears because of its looks. Don’t get me wrong, it looks quite nice for a traditional washing machine. Sleek design with a smooth black finish, the Mega Washer does impress. [...]