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Oprah’s Favorite Things

November 22, 2016 // 0 Comments

To ring in the season of giving (and buying) Oprah Winfrey has partnered with Amazon.com to sell a curated collection of her favorite consumer goods. Of course, some people out there might be wondering if Oprah has still "got it" after her very public hiatus spent marooned on a desert island in the South Pacific. [...]

A Life or Death Decision About Toothpaste

April 12, 2016 // 1 Comment

It was the smell that woke me. A putrid array of filth and decay assaulted my nostrils, so rancid that it was sticky and palpable. In a flash of groggy horror, I realized what was causing such a stench: I had not brushed my teeth in days. [...]

Oprah’s Favorite Things Are Insane

November 9, 2015 // 0 Comments

Oprah's words of wisdom have gotten a little strange over the years. [...]

The Best Cookware to Keep Yourself From Getting Killed

June 16, 2015 // 1 Comment

I sat at my boss' desk with my hands clasped on my lap. I would have been the picturesque image of a model employee, had the gauze wrapped around my skull not started leaking again. [...]

A Review of “The Dress”

February 27, 2015 // 0 Comments

Okay look, clearly there's some dark magic Devil shit going on here. [...]

Trojan Gold Collection Condoms: Ribbed for Murder!

December 31, 2014 // 13 Comments

I personally have been consistently awful at the art of the pick-up, which has not led me to become overly optimistic about my prospects. That and the fact that my last attempt at seducing a lady ended with my house nearly being burned down. [...]