Sagas

Fight Club Part 3: The Hospital

July 26, 2016 // 1 Comment

I smile to myself. It is actually fortunate that there are bandages covering my entire face. This way the officer cannot detect any microexpressions on my features that may indicate I am lying. [...]

Fight Club Part 2: The First Punch

June 21, 2016 // 8 Comments

He stands only a couple inches taller than me, but the difference feels like miles. It occurs to me that I have never been in a fight before. And yet here I am, standing against this Corinthian column of muscle and sinew. [...]

The Huntress (The Florida Challenge Part 17)

June 14, 2016 // 1 Comment

By now the majority of our surroundings were on fire. This warehouse was ripe for it. The explosions had lit up the numerous boxes and clutter, the flames racing to contaminate adjacent shelves. The whole warehouse was doomed. I said, "Yo, this is f***ing awesome!" [...]

I Am Starting My Own Fight Club

May 26, 2016 // 8 Comments

Since I plan to model my life around a book I had better make it something exciting. Something particularly visceral. Something punchy. Perhaps, in this case, the obvious choice is the best one. [...]

I Somehow Managed to Screw Up Ham and Eggs

April 28, 2016 // 9 Comments

There’s really no excuse for this kind of outcome, other than my own perpetual incompetence. But that’s life isn’t it? A series of mistakes followed by lessons learned. Yes, sometimes your food doesn’t come out the way you want it. We adapt, we grow, and we try to move on. [...]

The Beginning of My Kitchen Failures

April 19, 2016 // 1 Comment

If, years ago, you had told my college-age self that one day she would be getting paid to write a food and cocktail recipe column, she would have laughed right in your face and turned away to do another four bong hits. [...]

A Life or Death Decision About Toothpaste

April 12, 2016 // 1 Comment

It was the smell that woke me. A putrid array of filth and decay assaulted my nostrils, so rancid that it was sticky and palpable. In a flash of groggy horror, I realized what was causing such a stench: I had not brushed my teeth in days. [...]

Grand Theft Auto (The Florida Challenge Part 11)

March 29, 2016 // 5 Comments

"So you partner with a notorious human trafficker to steal an infant manatee, release a vicious bear from its cage, psuedo-kidnap a woman and fight her in your van, then steal some innocent guy's car and break his stuff? At what point during any of this do you think you're the good guy here?” [...]