Zootopia is a Movie About Adorable Animals and Crack Cocaine
Zootopia is a Disney movie about adorable talking animals living in harmony. It's also about crack cocaine and conspiracy theories. Seriously. [...]
Movies
A Review of The Shining in Which I Barely Go Insane At All
Either Stephen King crafted a pinnacle of modern literature because he worked tirelessly to create the best work he could out of sheer determination and talent, or it’s because he stayed in a creepy hotel one night. [...]
4 Cinematic Masterpieces Reviewed in Utter Gibberish Because It’s April Fools’ Day
Number doorstop flamp wunder horse, but tolf flubber lift colon bear. Holistic shellfer trubs, lip sex bulder schmarpf plont furderniftelmentation torf whiff. [...]
Fifty Shades of Grey Was the Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen at 7:45 Last Monday Night
Does this film degrade modern cinema, and the whole of culture by extension? I have no idea, but it certainly was the low point of my cultural perspective for about half an evening. [...]
4 Sad Movies Reviewed Solely by Their Wikipedia Plot Summaries
I don't have the energy to sit through two hours of actors making sad faces. There is enough drama and whining on my real life Facebook feed, so I don't need movies adding to it. [...]
I Guess I Just Hate Children – A Review of Harry Potter
I don't think these books are corrupting kids with their subtle Satanic messages. If anything, I wish they were. At least then these little bastards would have something interesting about them. [...]
A Review of Interstellar Based Only on Google Image Searches
Director Christopher Nolan’s long-anticipated space masterpiece is finally here, but if you think I’m going to pay nineteen dollars to see a thirty foot tall Matthew McConaughey cry in IMAX then you’ve got another thing coming. [...]
A Review of The Hunger Games Based Solely on its Wikipedia Plot Summary
Yes, you read the title correctly. I’ve got a lot of things going on in my life. If you think I’m going to take the time to watch a movie or – god forbid – read a book, just because “it’s my job” then you are hilariously [...]
The Double Thumb 