Be the 100th Follower and I Will Give You 10,000 Croissants
Hey guys, Boone the admin here!
As of the time of me writing this, this website has 97 great people following it. Sure, a third of those are advertising bots and another third are my confused grandmother, but still we’re close to a milestone! Only three more followers and we’ll be at an even hundred, which is great because I have moderate OCD and easily divisible whole numbers are the only thing that bring me solace anymore.
But to sweeten the deal in case in case you do not share my passion for powers of ten, I am willing to offer an incentive to click that lovely little follow button: croissants. Specifically, 10,000 of them.
That’s 5,000% of this!
The other night I placed an online delivery order from my local grocery store for what I thought was 10 of the fluffy French pastries. However, apparently I fell asleep briefly and my head landed on the keyboard and added a few more zeroes.
Never mind the $7,500 in debt that I accrued with that slip up, I now have way more croissants than I could ever hope to eat alone. They’re taking up two entire rooms in my house. I haven’t been able to find my dog, so I think I might have accidentally buried her. I hope she’s alive and has been staving off starvation by eating her way through the croissants, but I won’t know until I can get them the hell out of here.
So yeah, please follow this site. Whoever becomes the 100th follower will receive a (lifetime?) supply of croissants! Just pay shipping and handling.*
Hooray! Now get following so I can find my dog and have my life back!
*S&H costs come out to roughly $7,500.
The Double Thumb 
I love croissants. I also needed spellcheck that. How do I follow the site? Also does it count if I follow it 3 more times. Actually, has my opportunity already passed? Can I knock off the others who made it to 100 before me and turn back time?
Wait… I should probably have checked the date in the first place….
“Posted on May 28, 2015”
Hmm, are they still edible?
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I posted an update! Somewhere…
There’s also a Follow button on the sidebar to the right! Somewhere….
I’d link to them here, but I can’t figure out how to format it. You see, my two biggest hobbies are 1) spending lots of time on the internet, and 2) not understanding the internet. So I don’t really know what I’m doing.
The croissants are inedible, unfortunately. My dog ate half of them, and the other half I had to jackhammer into dust in order to free my dog. So they’re pretty much done for.
The good news is that a few days ago I accidentally ordered 6,000 lbs. of mackerel from Amazon, so I’ll be needing a way to unload that if you’re interested.
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