Opinion

I Went to a Donald Trump Rally and All I Got Was This Lousy Heat Stroke

June 9, 2016 // 8 Comments

I went to this thing out of sheer curiosity. This entire election cycle I've known Trump as nothing more than a television character. A cartoon. I wanted to go and see if the media is just blowing everything out of proportion. Turns out they aren't. [...]

Sriracha is a Lifestyle Choice

March 11, 2015 // 1 Comment

For a whole week I incorporated the hot sauce into nearly every aspect of my daily routine. I ate it on everything, I drank it, I bathed in it, I dumped buckets of it off highway overpasses. Here's what I learned. [...]

A Review of the Chipotle I Just Robbed

January 14, 2015 // 2 Comments

I got no time for disrespect. What I do got time for though is delicious food. You bitches stick by me and I’ll tell you all about the tastiest shit you can shove into your teeth cave. [...]

A Review of The Hunger Games Based Solely on its Wikipedia Plot Summary

November 18, 2014 // 2 Comments

Yes, you read the title correctly. I’ve got a lot of things going on in my life. If you think I’m going to take the time to watch a movie or – god forbid – read a book, just because “it’s my job” then you are hilariously [...]