We All Have Jury Duty

In an ideal world, we here at The Double Thumb would maintain something of a regular posting schedule. Unfortunately, the world as we know it is ripe with despair and destruction. Every day innocent people are hurt and killed through no fault of their own, families and countries are torn asunder in times of war, and adorable and/or endangered animals are slaughtered.

In light of all this, we believe that a website failing to update regularly for a month or so should be the least of anyone’s concerns.

Here is our excuse: every single person who works for this organization has jury duty. All of us. We don’t know how it happened, but it did. We all received our summons something like a month ago, called in at the scheduled time, and showed up to nearest courthouse on the days requested. And lo and behold, each and every one of us was chosen to sit on one jury or the other.

via tpsdave on Pixabay

Before you ask, yes that is statistically possible. We cannot give you the exact odds because if we were to type it out there would be so many numbers on the page it would use up our current bandwidth allowance.

Though legally no one is allowed to discuss the details of their cases, what we can say is that a good 90% of them are a blend of murder and high treason trials. So they may take up some time. We will do our very best to keep this from affecting this website’s output as much as possible.

Under normal conditions, we strive to post twice a week, every week. Well, except for last week. And the week before that. And now this week. The point is that we would love to keep up our semi-regular schedule, but due to all the criminal and/or civil disputes in our local municipality, we simply may not be able to find the time. Therefore we humbly beg you for your patience and understanding. Once all the tearful witness statements, gavel bashing, angry deliberation, and final verdicts have been completed we will be happy to return this website to the bastion of reliability that our readers have come to expect.

Unless a bear gets into our server room again, then we will be in real trouble.

Should you have any questions or concerns as we transition through this difficult time, please do not hesitate to fill out our contact form.

Chaos in the Courtroom

by Henry David Friston

(Note: this course of events does not in any way effect The Double Thumb’s print publication. The people on that side of the operation are already breaking so many laws that skipping jury duty would be the least of their moral problems.)

Image credit: Courtroom, Art

About The Double Thumb (21 Articles)
The Double Thumb is a publication featuring long-form reviews, serialized columns, and cultural commentary curated by a group of talented yet unstable writers. Our mission is to uncover the heart of an issue and present it to our readers, still beating and squirting blood.

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