March 2016

Grand Theft Auto (The Florida Challenge Part 11)

March 29, 2016 // 5 Comments

"So you partner with a notorious human trafficker to steal an infant manatee, release a vicious bear from its cage, psuedo-kidnap a woman and fight her in your van, then steal some innocent guy's car and break his stuff? At what point during any of this do you think you're the good guy here?” [...]

Attack of the Megalodon (The Florida Challenge Part 10)

March 24, 2016 // 5 Comments

The thing was still down there, poking at me. I plunged my arm into the water after it, trying to mash it in my fingers. If I was gonna be dragged down to the depths by some Kraken then I planned on taking it to hell with me. [...]

No Friends in High Places (The Florida Challenge Part 9)

March 22, 2016 // 3 Comments

Sunshine Skyway, Florida Manatee Challenge

For what it's worth, I still felt relatively confident about our chances of survival. Then I took one peek over the edge and completely changed my mind. [...]

Zootopia is a Movie About Adorable Animals and Crack Cocaine

March 17, 2016 // 6 Comments

Zootopia is a Disney movie about adorable talking animals living in harmony. It's also about crack cocaine and conspiracy theories. Seriously. [...]

Some Light Felony Kidnapping (The Florida Challenge Part 8)

March 15, 2016 // 1 Comment

Well, none of this has gone according to plan. Stealing animals out of zoos used to be so much easier back in the day, you know? Now it's all, "stop!" this and "let the manatee go" that. [...]

So… One of Our Writers Might Be Dead (and Other Discussions)

March 10, 2016 // 10 Comments

The higher-ups here don't seem too worried. They say this kind of stuff happens all the time, and that the longer he's on hiatus the less they have to pay him. [...]

The Florida Challenge Part 7: Chaos & Terror

March 8, 2016 // 1 Comment

The sloth bear was 400 pounds of muscle encased in shaggy black fur and tipped with massive, razor sharp claws. And now it was free and hungry and running our way. [...]

The Florida Challenge Part 6: The Heist

March 3, 2016 // 1 Comment

There wasn't anyone around to stop us from leaving the zoo. All we had to do was load the manatee and drive off. A clean getaway. Or so we thought. [...]